Benjamin Franklin Representative selections, with introduction, bibliograpy, and notes

By Benjamin Franklin

Page 264

might be added
to the Vocabulary of the _Tiplers_: But I have chose to mention these
few, because if at any Time a Man of Sobriety and Temperance happens to
_cut himself confoundedly_, or is _almoss froze_, or _feavourish_, or
accidentally _sees the Sun_, &c. he may escape the Imputation of being
_drunk_, when his Misfortune comes to be related.

_I am_ SIR,
_Your Humble Servant,_


(_From Monday, February 4, to Monday, February 11, 1723_)

The late Publisher of this Paper,[19] finding so many Inconveniences
would arise by his carrying the Manuscripts and publick News to be
supervis'd by the Secretary, as to render his carrying it on
unprofitable, has intirely dropt the Undertaking. The present Publisher
having receiv'd the following Piece, desires the Readers to accept of it
as a Preface to what they may hereafter meet with in this Paper.

Non ego mordaci distrinxi Carmine quenquam
Nulla vonenato Litera onista Joco est.

Long has the Press groaned in bringing forth an hateful, but numerous
Brood of Party Pamphlets, malicious Scribbles, and Billinsgate Ribaldry.
The Rancour and bitterness it has unhappily infused into Men's minds,
and to what a Degree it has sowred and leaven'd the Tempers of Persons
formerly esteemed some of the most sweet and affable, is too well known
here, to need any further Proof or Representation of the Matter.

No generous and impartial Person then can blame the present Undertaking,
which is designed purely for the Diversion and Merriment of the Reader.
Pieces of Pleasancy and Mirth have a secret Charm in them to allay the
Heats and Tumours of our Spirits, and to make a Man forget his restless
Resentments. They have a strange Power to tune the harsh Disorders of
the Soul,

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Text Comparison with Memoirs of Benjamin Franklin; Written by Himself. [Vol. 2 of 2] With his Most Interesting Essays, Letters, and Miscellaneous Writings; Familiar, Moral, Political, Economical, and Philosophical, Selected with Care from All His Published Productions, and Comprising Whatever Is Most Entertaining and Valuable to the General Reader

Page 16
"Here you are all got together at this sale of fineries and knickknacks.
Page 29
, to excess.
Page 43
The skipper of a shallop, employed between Cape May and Philadelphia, had done us some small service, for which he refused to be paid.
Page 49
Page 69
He insisted that all the words in the book contained no more than general speculations on the principles of government, free for any man to write down; especially since the same are written in the parliament rolls and in the statute laws.
Page 76
I have been told that an action at law was once brought against one of these water nymphs, by a person who had a new suit of clothes spoiled by this operation; but, after long argument, it was determined by the whole court that the action would not lie, inasmuch as the defendant was in the exercise of a legal right, and not answerable for the consequences: and so the poor gentleman was doubly nonsuited, for he lost not only his suit of clothes, but his suit at law.
Page 77
His train of reasoning is ingenious and whimsical, but I am not at leisure to give you a detail.
Page 79
It is very difficult for a stranger to walk the streets on those evenings; he runs a continual risk of having a bucket of dirty water thrown against his legs; but a Philadelphian born is so much accustomed to the danger that he avoids it with surprising dexterity.
Page 103
I ought to have answered yours of December 25, 1765.
Page 106
Suits arising in the colonies, and between colony and colony, are determined by the king in council.
Page 121
I prescribe that regimen for you, my dear, in pure good-will, without a fee.
Page 128
But you will give us PENSIONS; probably to be paid, too, out of your expected American revenue; and which none of us can accept without deserving, and, perhaps, obtaining a _suspension_.
Page 139
"I received and read the letter from my dear and much respected friend with infinite pleasure.
Page 143
Franklin, by his daughter Sarah; he was the first editor of the AURORA at Philadelphia: died of yellow fever in September, 1798.
Page 166
Page 169
In the mean time, if there be no impropriety in it, I would desire that this letter, together with another on the same subject, the copy of which is hereto annexed, be put upon their minutes.
Page 170
Accept my hearty thanks.
Page 188
Farther, that Aetna, Vesuvius, Hecla, and the other volcanoes, are only so many spiracles, serving for the discharge of this subterraneous fire, when it is thus preternaturally assembled.
Page 195
Experiments afterward made on lightning obtained from the clouds by pointed rods, received into bottles, and subjected to every trial, have since proved this suspicion to be perfectly well founded; and that, whatever properties we find in electricity, are also the properties of lightning.
Page 211
2 is to represent the elevation of a water-spout, wherein I suppose P P P to be the cone, at first a vacuum, till W W, the rising column of water, has filled so much of it.